The South Park Kids Play CharDee MacDennis
by WildCard0531
Summary: Yet another take on the finale of Season 20. The boys and girls are getting along again, what better way to celebrate than by playing a board game. What game will they be playing? Let me answer that question with another question...CharDee MacDennis, anyone? Rated T for alcohol references and swearing. Some Bebe/OC pairing.
1. The Idea

Chapter 1: The Idea

 **Author's Note: Since Season 20 didn't end with the boys and girls reconciling, I figured I'd do** _ **another**_ **spin on Season 20. Don't worry, this one won't involve the characters getting it on a la Sausage Party, but this one does involve the characters playing the classic board game, as seen on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, CharDee MacDennis. This fanfic takes place after the events of an alternate timeline of Season 20 where the boys and girls forgive each other, the trolls, Troll Trace, and the member berries have died out, Giant Douche (Garrison) is NOT president, and Cartman is still the tolerable person he was in Season 20. Anyway, some of the kids in South Park think that a great way to hang out after feuding for so long is by playing a board game. I wonder what it is (Incaseyouhaventfigureditoutyetthenameofthegameisinthetitle)? Rated T for language and alcohol references. I do not own South Park or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.**

(It had been only a week since the trolling stopped and Mr. Garrison, A.K.A Giant Douche, stopped running for president, and the boys and girls of South Park are getting along once more. Both romantic and plutonic relationships between the two groups are restored, and it was grand. We cut to the South Park Elementary playground on a sunny Monday morning where 8 kids, Stan, Wendy, Kyle, Bebe, Cartman, Heidi, Kenny, and Butters, and trying to figure out what they should do now that order has been restored)

Kyle: (Sigh) What do you guys want to do today?

Cartman: We can watch some King Bo vines on my phone. Black people can be just as funny as women you know.

Stan: No.

Wendy: We can sing a song.

Heidi: I don't think that's such a good idea. If we start singing then everyone will come and watch and Cartman gets stage fright easily.

Cartman: (Blushes) Babe, don't tell them.

Kenny: Stage fright, ha! Wuss!

Kyle: Do you guys want to link up on 3DS.

Stan: I left my 3DS at home.

Wendy: Same.

Butters: My parents took my 3DS away from me, on account of I'm grounded.

Kenny: I don't even have a 3DS, dude!

Butters: Why, 'cause you're poor.

Kenny: Fuck you.

(Everyone laughs)

Heidi: Hang on, Bebe hasn't given us her fifty cents on what she wants to do. Do you have any ideas, Bebe?

Bebe: I do, but you're all going to think it's stupid.

Wendy: Don't be afraid to tell us, Bebe. We're all ears.

Bebe: Okay, well, I was watching this show last night called, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

Stan: You watch "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?"

Bebe: Just started yesterday. Why, have you all watched it?

(The other seven kids nod their heads)

Bebe: You too Wendy?

Wendy: Hey, it's okay for a good girl like me to be bad and watch a show like that every once in a while.

Bebe: Right. Anyway they were playing this game called CharDee MacDennis.

Kenny: CharDee MacDennis!

Kyle: Dude, the CharDee MacDennis episodes are some of the best episodes in the series. Did you want to play CharDee MacDennis.

Bebe: Yes.

Kyle: I say we do it. Be adventurous.

Stan: I'm with you.

Butters: Golly, playing a game like this is worth a grounding.

(The other kids agree)

Stan: Alright, we're playing Chardee MacDennis.

(Just then, Craig and Tweek appear)

Tweek: Did you say you were going to play Chardee MacDennis!

Craig: That game from Sunny in Philadelphia?

Heidi: The very same.

Craig: Can we play?

(Then Token and Nichole come into the scene)

Token: Play what?

Tweek: CharDee MacDennis.

Nichole: You mean like that game from that Philadelphia show?

Tweek: Yeah!

Cartman: You guys want in too?

Token & Nichole: Yeah.

Craig: Can we tell more people.

Bebe: The more the merrier.

Token: Alright.

Butters: Well, we're getting our players. Now we just need a location.

Token: If you're looking for a location to play, my parents are friends with the Oppenheimers.

Bebe: The Oppenheimers?!

Token: Yup, the only people in this town richer than me. Mr. and Mrs. Oppenheimer have a son named Cody. He goes to some fancy private school not far from here. Anyway, his parents are on vacation in the British Virgin Isles this week, and Cody is a pretty cool guy. I'm sure he'll let us use his place for the game. I'll go visit him after school and ask if it's okay.

Stan: Okay, cool, dude. Go ask him.

Token: I will. (He turns to Nichole, Tweek, and Craig) Come on, guys, let's go spread the word around!

(They leave)

(After school, Token goes up to the Oppenheimer's mansion. Bebe decides to come with him since it was her idea in the first place. The arrive at a big white mansion)

Bebe: That mansion is huge!

Token: Yeah. It makes my house look like a tool shed in comparison.

(The duo walks up to the front door and knock, where an old butler with white hair and a lack suit comes to greet them. This man's name is Reginald)

Reginald: Yes?

Token: Hey, Reginald.

Reginald: Ah, Master Token. What brings you here?

Token: I want to talk to Cody.

Reginald: Certainly. And is the young lady coming with you?

Bebe: Yes, sir, my name is Bebe.

Reginald: Ah, Mistress Bebe. Well, you two, Master Cody is in his bedroom. You may enter.

Token: Thanks.

(The two kids walk up a grand staircase, and walk down a long hallway to get to his bedroom. Upon reaching the door, Token knocks)

Cody: You may enter.

(Token and Bebe enter the room where they find Cody relaxing on his bed watching a movie on a huge 72 inch television. Cody's room has blue walls, a white ceiling, blue carpets, an industrial air conditioner, a bay window with a view of the pool, hot tub, and gardens in the backyard, the aforementioned 72 inch T.V with a state of the art stereo system, an Xbox One, PS4, and Wii U sitting next to the T.V on small desks, huge shelves that are stocked with movies, video games, music, and board games, a big wooden toy box, and Cody's aforementioned king sized bed with blue and green sheets. Cody pauses the movie, and turns his attention towards Token and Bebe)

(Cody is a well groomed boy who is the same age as Token and Bebe, 10, with brown hair, blue eyes with black glasses over them, a white polo shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers.

Cody: Ah, Token! (He shakes his hand and hugs him)

Token: Hey, Cody. It's been a while. How are things?

Cody: Just great, old sport! Parents are just off on a weeklong vacation to the British Virgin Isles. They won't be back until next Monday, so it's just me, Reginald, and the other servants. They are all so very busy, Token, old sport. It gets very lonely sometimes, so I'm glad you came by for a visit. (He turns his attention toward Bebe) Well who is this beautiful flower you've brought along, old sport?

Token: That's my friend Bebe.

Cody: Hmm. Bebe. Such a beautiful name.

Bebe: (Blushes) Thanks. Anyway, the reason we came here is because I had an idea to play this game, and we kind of need your place to play it. If we play it anywhere else someone will find out and we'll get in a lot of trouble.

Cody: Anything for a wonderful jewel like yourself. What's the game?

Bebe: Have you ever watched a show called, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?"

Cody: Of course. I've watched every episode since it first aired.

Bebe: Well, I kind of wanted to play CharDee MacDennis with my friends since we just got over that boy/girl war last week.

Cody: I've heard about that. So, CharDee MacDennis. I can see why you want no one else finding out. It's a drinking game, right?

Bebe: Correct.

Cody: Okay. You can use my place for your little game. My servants and Reginald are always busy so they don't pay a lot of attention to me, so I think we're fine to drink to our hearts content. I just ask that you make me the referee and host. I do have aspirations of being a game show host someday.

Bebe: Wonderful. Thank you, Cody! (She hugs him and Cody blushes)

Cody: Um, my pleasure. (He is released from the hug) So, I assume you and your friends will provide game pieces, flags, and trivia questions since the latter is opinion based?

Bebe: Yes.

Cody: Excellent. I'll handle everything else. I'm going to have to add some extra levels, and change up the rules a little bit, if that's okay with you.

Bebe: (Thinks for a bit and turns to Token) While he is handsome, can we still trust him, Token?

Token: I trust him.

Bebe: Okay, we'll try it your way.

Cody: Fabulous! Everything should be ready by Friday night. Friday night will give us enough time to clean up any and all messes before my parents return home.

Bebe: Friday night sounds great.

Cody: Wonderful. Well, thanks for stopping by you two, I'll see you two out.

Token: Okay.

(Cody escorts Bebe and Token to the exit and holds the door open for them)

Cody: Have a wonderful day you two.

Token: See you around, Cody!

Bebe: Bye!

(Cody waves goodbye, closes the door, and turns to his butler Reginald)

Cody: Reginald?

Reginald: Yes, Master Cody?

Cody: Round up the other servants. Friday will be a day reserved for fun.

Reginald: Certainly, sir.

(Reginald bows and walks off)

 **END OF CHAPTER**


	2. CharDee MacDennis 3: Rise of the Machine

Chapter 2: CharDee MacDennis 3: Rise of the Machines

(At long last, Friday has arrived. After school, 20 of South Park Elementary School's students travel together up to Cody's mansion to play CharDee MacDennis. The teams, game pieces, and flags are as follows…)

 **Stan and Kyle:**

 **Team Name:** Team Alpha

 **Game Pieces** : Terrance and Philip Action Figures

 **Flag:** A picture of Terrance farting on Philip's face

 **Kenny and Butters:**

 **Team Name:** Team Beef Jerky

 **Game Pieces:** A monopoly shoe and a shoelace

 **Flag:** A picture of a bag of Krave Beef Jerky

 **Cartman and Heidi:**

 **Team Name:** Team Funny Women

 **Game Pieces:** Handmade dolls of Melissa McCarthy and Amy Schumer

 **Flag:** A picture of the Jesus Fish, or ichthys

 **Wendy and Bebe: **

**Team Name:** Team Gamma

 **Game Pieces:** Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie plush toys

 **Flag:** A picture of the Mane Six in a group hug

 **Token and Nichole:**

 **Team Name** : Team Mess Makers

 **Game Pieces:** Splatoon Amiibos (Blue Inkling Boy and Orange Inkling Girl)

 **Flag:** Cover art for Splatoon

 **Craig and Tweek:**

 **Team Name:** Team Undertale

 **Game Pieces:** Handmade dolls of Papyrus and Mettaton EX

 **Flag:** The group photo at the end of the game

 **Red and Annie:**

 **Team Name:** Team Bieber

 **Game Pieces:** Justin Bieber dolls

 **Flag** : A picture of Justin Bieber's new album cover

 **Clyde and Millie:**

 **Team Name:** Team Party

 **Game Pieces:** A toy car and a Barbie doll

 **Flag:** Cover Art for Mario Party on Nintendo 64

 **Lola and Jenny:**

 **Team Name:** Team Twilight

 **Game Pieces:** Edward Cullen and Jacob Black dolls

 **Flag:** Twilight movie poster

 **Kevin and Scott: **

**Team Name:** Team Millennium Falcon

 **Game Pieces:** Han Solo and Chewbacca Action Figures

 **Flag:** Galactic Empire Flag

(With flags, game pieces, and trivia questions in tow, the 20 kids walk to Cody's mansion. As they walk, they get more and more excited for the evening that's about to come)

Tweek: Oh my god! I can't believe we're going to play Chardee MacDennis! I'm so excited I can't take it!

Stan: I know, dude, I'm feeling pretty hyped myself.

Token: Hey Stan, can I ask you a question?

Stan: Go for it.

Token: Why aren't you and Wendy a team?

Wendy: Because we're afraid that if we are on the same team, and we lose, we'll blame each other and break up again.

Stan: So we figured it would be better if we were on opposite teams. I just hope we won't let the game get to our heads.

Wendy: I hope so too.

Millie: (Whispers to Red) $10 says they break up again by the end of the evening.

(Red snickers)

Jenny: I'm curious as to why Tweek and Craig chose Undertale characters to be their game pieces.

Craig: Hey, Undertale is a good game. Tweek and I got really into Undertale recently. It just sucked us in. At least we didn't chose Twilight characters like you and Lola did, or ponies like Wendy and Bebe, or whatever the hell Token and Nichole used for their game pieces.

Nichole: These are Splatoon Amiibos. Splatoon is a great game.

Cartman: Isn't that some kind of shooter game for the Wii U?

Nichole: And it's a damn good one too.

(Beat)

Clyde: TF2, Overwatch, Call of Duty, Halo, and Counter Strike are better just saying.

Annie: Hey, everyone, I have a question.

Lola: What is it, Annie?

Annie: I watched the CharDee MacDennis episodes last night on Netflix. The first time they played it, it was just "CharDee MacDennis: The Game of Games." Second time they played, they called it, "CharDee MacDennis 2: Electric Boogaloo." So since this is a third time that we know of in which someone has played the game, I think we should call it, "CharDee MacDennis 3: Rise of the Machines."

(Beat)

Bebe: Huh?

Lola: What are you talking about?

Kevin: The Terminator series isn't involved with the game.

Scott: Yeah there are no machines involved either.

Annie: Come on, let me have this one. I just want to change the name a little bit.

Token: If you really want to change the name, talk to Cody about it, he's the one who's letting us use his place for the game.

(Eventually, they reach the mansion)

Red: We're here.

(They knock on the door and Reginald answers)

Reginald: Ah, young Masters and Mistresses. I assume you're Master Cody's playmates for the evening.

Heidi: Yup.

Kyle: That's us.

Reginald: Splendid. He's up in his room preparing.

Token: Thanks Reginald. Come on, everyone, follow me.

(The group of 20 kids walk to Cody's room. As they inch closer to the room, they hear Anitra's Dance playing from the stereo system in his room)

Annie: I hear music.

Kenny: Yeah, me too.

(Token knocks on Cody's door)

Cody: You may enter.

(Token opens the door and sees Cody preparing alcoholic beverages, a cheese plate, and a pulley system for the teams to place their flags. They also see a pile of props in the corner of the room)

Cody: Token, old sport!

Token: Hey, Cody.

(They shake hands)

Cody: And Bebe, you beautiful flower.

Bebe: Hi, Cody.

(They both hug)

Jenny: You guys think they're gonna hook up.

Lola: Hope so.

Cody: (Releases the hug) So, this is the whole gang, eh?

Bebe: Yup, meet Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Heidi, Butters, Cartman, Wendy, Red, Annie, Nichole, Kevin, Craig, Tweek, Clyde, Millie, Jenny, Lola, and Scott.

Scott: Why'd you say my name last?

Kenny: Shut the fuck up, Scott.

Cody: It's a pleasure to meet you all. So, are you all ready to play the game?

Annie: Yup, I'm ready for some CharDee MacDennis 3: Rise of the Machines.

Cody: (Confused) Hmm, interesting name.

Bebe: Yeah. She thought that since the second one was named CharDee MacDennis 2: Electric Boogaloo, we'd name this one after a movie.

Cody: Alrighty then. So, shall we go over the rules?

All: Yes.

Cody: Okay, first, hand me the trivia cards.

(They give Cody the trivia cards and he puts it on a table)

Cody: Okay, I'm sure most of you have seen the episode, but I'll explain the rules if you need a refresher. So, as you all know, this game is a bunch of board games all mashed together. But I decided to add video game elements, and my own little games.

Stan: Sounds cool, dude.

Cody: Excellent. Now, I will explain the levels in the game. There are five in all. Level 1 will be Mind: Trivia, Puzzles, and Artistry. The alcohol consumed here will be beer.

Stan: Honestly, I'm a little worried. What if our parents find out we've been drinking alcohol.

Red: Yeah, not to mention this sounds totally unsafe.

Wendy: Please (Looks at Stan) You're the one who drank a lot of alcohol when you thought you had Aspergers, (Looks at Red) and you're the one who did ketamine during the Stupid Spoiled Whore Party a few years back, which, by the way, you had no idea what it was. So I don't want to hear any of this.

Jenny: She's got a point.

Cody: Anyway, 10 teams will enter, but only 8 will advance to Level 2. Yes, I'm thinking of doing a knockout round kind of thing. To advance to Level 2, you need three cards. Or hope you get lucky and either your team or another draws a card that says one of the teams can advance to the next round: Level 2: Physical Challenge, Pain, and Endurance. Like last level, 8 will enter, but 6 will advance. Also worth noting that as of Level 2, no more swearing. If you swear, then you have to drink for five seconds. The catch is that I count the five seconds. The alcohol consumed here is wine, and they will be given through in the beginning.

Kyle: Okay, um, why ?

Cody: So the alcohol can hit you all faster. I thought that's why they did it on the show.

Kyle: Sure, whatever.

Scott: Do you even have knowledge on how to hook up an IV?

Cody: I looked up a video on the internet. I have a general understanding on how to hook it up. Anyway, Level 3 will be the video game level. 6 will enter, 5 will leave. There will be five rounds, the team who doesn't win a single round is out of the game. Each team that beats a challenge is immune for the rest of the level. The alcohol here will be hard lemonade, no IVs in this round or the rounds that come after it. Then comes Level 4: Horror. Three rounds of games here. 5 will enter but 2 will advance to the final level. The person that comes in last in the three rounds are out of the game. At long last, we have Level 5: Spirit, Emotional Battery and Public Humiliation. This is the hard alcohol level. I'm talking vodka, gin, you name it. The first team to get five cards wins the whole game. Also, did I forget to mention that there's a timer in this round, and if it runs out we go to a tie breaker? Because that's what's going to happen. The winner of the whole game gets to smash the other teams' game pieces and burn their flags. Are we clear on the rules?

Cartman: Wasn't there a rule where we shouldn't ask questions?

Cody: Yeah, but I figured I'd do away with that rule since it's kind of a bullshit rule. Oh, and if anyone gets hurt in the game, which I'm anticipating because this is an insane game, I have a first aid kit on standby. Okay then, now that everything is set in stone, it's time we do the Ritual of Sportsmanship!

(Cut to the 20 contestants drinking beer from fancy glasses and eating fancy cheese and crackers off a silver platter as Vivaldi's Four Seasons plays on Cody's stereo system. The contestants clink their glasses)

Butters: (Clinks glasses with Cartman) Good luck to you, sir.

Cartman: And you, sir.

Millie: (Clinks glasses with Nichole) Let's have a jolly good game, madam.

Nichole: You too, ma'am.

Clyde: (Clinks glasses with Stan) Good luck to you all.

Stan: Yes, thank you, sir.

Jenny: (Sips from her glass as she listens to the music) I can get used to this.

Kevin: So, Cody, why are we doing this again?

Red: Don't you remember the episode, Kev? Doing this ritual is meant to show respect for your opponent, because once the game starts, well, let's just say that it goes down hard.

Kevin: Okay. And, Cody, you said that it's okay to ask questions in this game.

Cody: Of course, old sport, it's natural for someone to be curious. I just won't allow swearing as of Level 2. So good luck to you all.

Kevin: Thank you, Cody.

Bebe: So, is it time to show our prowess via the Maori war dance?

Heidi: Oh, you know it. Are you all ready?

Scott: You bet.

Wendy: I'm ready.

Token: I was born ready.

Tweek: Well, what the hell are we waiting for? Let's get it started in here.

Craig: Allow me (Clears throat) Everyone…

(Everyone raises their glasses)

Craig: Suck my dick!

(The 20 contestants finish off their drinks, and when they do…)

 **SMASH!**

(They throw their glasses to the floor where they shatter into a million pieces. From there, the calming melody of Four Seasons turns into the rocking beat of Stains of Time from Metal Gear Rising: Revengance as the contestants begin their Maori war dance. The 20 contestants are shouting and whooping, flexing their muscles, spinning, jumping, doing Z-moves, head banging, doing karate moves, and occasionally break dancing to the beat. After about two minutes of the war dance, Cody gets up, shut the music off, grabs a bugle and starts the flag raising ceremony)

Cody: TEN HUT! (The 21 kids stomp their feet) HUT! (Stomp) HUT! (Stomp)

(Cody starts to play the bugle as the 10 teams first march to the game board to place their game pieces on it, and then their march to their own section of Cody's room where they attached their flags to Cody's pulley system)

Cody: Teams! State your name and motto!

Stan & Kyle: Team Alpha: We're the best around, and nothing's going to ever get us down! (They raise their Terrance and Phillip flag)

Kenny & Butters: Team Beef Jerky: We're finger licking good! (They raise their beef jerky flag)

Cartman & Heidi: Team Funny Women: Women are funny, get over it! (They raise their Jesus fish flag)

Wendy & Bebe: Team Gamma: The most dynamic of duos in all of South Park (They raise their Mane Six flag)

Token & Nichole: Team Mess Maker: Prepare to get wrecked! (They raise their Splatoon flag)

Craig & Tweek: Team Undertale: We'll make your last moments in this game…Absolutely beautiful! (They raise their Undertale flag)

Red & Annie: Team Bieber: By the power of Bieber, we will crush you! (They raise their Bieber flag)

Clyde & Millie: Team Party: For those about to rock, we salute you! (They raise their Mario Party flag)

Jenny & Lola: Team Twilight: Better than Team Jacob and Team Edward combined (They raise their Twilight flag)

Kevin & Scott: Team Millennium Falcon: Chewie, we're home! (They raise their Star Wars flag)

Bebe: Really, "Chewie, we're home." You couldn't come up with a better motto?

Scott: We had no idea we had to make a motto, we panicked.

Kevin: Yeah leave us alone.

(Cody finishes playing the bugle, does some poses, and the game officially begins)

 **END OF CHAPTER**

 **Who do you all think is going to win? Team Alpha, Team Beef Jerky, Team Funny Women, Team Gamma, Team Mess Maker, Team Undertale, Team Bieber, Team Party, Team Twilight, or Team Millennium Falcon. Next chapter the game begins, let's do this!**


	3. Level 1: Trivia, Puzzles, and Artistry

Chapter 3: Level 1: Trivia, Puzzles, and Artistry

(The 21 kids are gathered around a big table for the first level)

Cody: Alright, Level 1: Trivia, Puzzles, and Artistry. Let's get this party started. Ladies first, so I say we let The team of Wendy and the ever so gorgeous Bebe go first.

Bebe: (Blushes) Why, thank you Cody.

(Clyde grins and decides to joke around by singing a song)

Clyde: (Singing) Hey, Mr. Wonderful, oh you're so incredible! Hey, Mr. Wonderful, wonderful to me! Hey, Mr. Wonderful, oh you're irresistible. Hey, Mr. Wonderful, a miracle to me!

Bebe: (Death glare at Clyde) Shut up.

Lola: (To Jenny) When will she confess her love for him.

Jenny: I'm banking on the other way around.

Cody: Okay Bebe and Wendy, whenever you're ready, draw your first card.

(Wendy draws the first card)

Wendy: Trivia: Who is the greatest female singer ever.

Bebe: Lady Gaga!

Wendy: Correct! That's one card for Team Gamma.

Cody: Who wants to go next?

Kevin: We'll take it.

Cody: Okay. (Gives Trivia cards to Team Millennium Falcon and Kevin takes one)

Kevin: Okay Scott, it's trivia. Who is the greatest movie director ever?

Scott: James Cameron.

Kevin: (Looks at card) Oh no! That's wrong!

Cody: If you got it wrong, that gives the other teams a chance to steal.

Cartman: Oh, me! It's Mel Gibson! Mel Gibson!

Kevin: (Looks at card) Damn it! That's correct!

Heidi: Alright, sweetie!

Annie: We'll go next!

(She takes the trivia questions and reads them to Red)

Annie: It's an artistry challenge, and an all play.

Cody: Remember, you all handled the trivia questions. The artistry, puzzle, and all the other cards in the game, are all me.

Butters: Read the card, Annie, what's it say?

Annie: One member of each team must make the clue out of soap while the other member tries to guess what it is.

Cody: Time to whittle!

(Cody gives each team a knife and a bar of soap. The whittlers of each team include Stan, Kenny, Cartman, Wendy, Token, Craig, Red, Clyde, Lola, and Kevin. They all start sculpting and they're trying to guess what the clue is)

(Team Undertale)

Tweek: Is it a jackal! It's a jackal! I think it's a jackal! Jackal? Jackal? It's a jackal?

Craig: Stop asking if it's a god damn jackal!

(Team Twilight)

Lola: (Whittling the bar of soap slowly)

Jenny: Can you go faster? The other teams are going to get ahead of us!

Lola: I don't want to cut my hands.

(Team Party)

Clyde: (Cuts his hand) Ow! (Cuts his hand again) Owie! (Cuts his hand once more and starts sobbing) Owwwiiiee.

Millie: I told you to let me do it.

Clyde: No, it's cool! I got this. (Cuts his hand again) God damn it!

(Team Bieber)

Annie: Justin Bieber! No, a tree! Wait hang on, Harambe! No, that's not it either, Justin Bieber.

Red: You already said that!

(Team Mess Maker)

Token: (Trying to find a perfect angle to cut the soap)

Nichole: Can you hurry along?

Token: I'm trying to find the perfect angle to start whittling the soap bar.

Nichole: Since when did you care about symmetry? Who are you, Death the Kid!?

(Team Gamma)

Bebe: Is it a duck? A bunny? My pet cat, Thumper?

Wendy: What would make you think the clue would be your pet cat Thumper?

Bebe: It's just a guess.

(Team Alpha)

Stan: (Whittles the soap bar with ease)

Kyle: Dude you're awesome.

Stan: Lucky for us, I'm the best soap whittler in our scout troop.

Kyle: It totally looks like a dog, or bird.

Stan: Nope, keep guessing.

(Team Beef Jerky)

Butters: Is it a robot?

Kenny: No…

Butters: Is it a car?

Kenny: No, no…

Butters: Oh I know! I think I got it! It's a giant onion riding a space ship!

Kenny: Where the hell did you learn how to guess?!

(Team Millennium Falcon)

Scott: I don't know what it is. Can't you just tell me?

Kevin: No, you have to guess.

Scott: Well I don't know what to guess.

Kevin: Just pick something.

Scott: (Picks his nose)

Kevin: And I don't mean your nose!

(Finally, Team Funny Women)

Cartman: (Almost finishes whittling a man boxing)

Heidi: A boxer? Mike Tyson? Floyd Mayweather? Is it…is it punching!

Cartman: Babe! You got it! Punching!

Cody: And Team Funny Women get their second card.

Clyde: Crap!

Tweek: How do you make punching? Craig, your soap bar looks like a jackal.

Craig: It wasn't a god damn jackal! It wasn't right the first time you said it what the hell would make you think it would be right the next ten times?

Tweek: I panicked. I'm sorry.

Craig: Whatever, it's our turn now.

(Craig takes the card box)

Tweek & Craig: No puzzles, no puzzles, no puzzles, no puzzles! (A card is drawn) Puzzles.

Craig: Put this flower pot back together.

Cody: (Grabs a flower pot and smashes it with a hammer) Get to fixing.

(We then cut to Craig and Tweek making the finishing touches with some clue and tape. At long last, they reassembled the flower pot)

Cody: Now, we pour in some soil to see if it holds. If not, another team can get a chance to reassemble it (He pours soil into the pot and it holds) It held. Congratualtions, Tweek and Craig, here's your card. You boys have earned it.

Craig: Yes!

Tweek: Huzzah!

Cody: Okay, who's next?

Clyde: We'll take it from here.

(Millie grabs a card and reads it)

Millie: Trivia: During the Stupid Spoiled Whore phase, which one of the South Park girls looked the cutest?

Craig: Didn't know there's be a question about that of all things, but it looks like we're going that way.

Clyde: Hmm…if I had to guess, I'd say you, Millie.

Millie: (Blushes) What? Me?

Clyde: Yeah. Mainly because you look like Poison Ivy from Batman, and Poison Ivy is one sexy super villain (Whistles and purrs like a cat).

Millie: (Blushes even harder) Well, uh, thanks, but your wrong. Other teams have a chance to steal now.

Scott: I say it was Nichole!

Nichole: I wasn't even in South Park at the time. And for your information, I didn't take part in the fad in my old town either. I thought it was sick and sinful.

Cartman: I think it was Heidi. Because she looks cute in whatever she wears.

Heidi: Aw, babe.

Annie: No…both of you are wrong. I'm the cutest one. I should know. I wrote the question.

Millie: Correct. Annie and Red get this card.

Bebe: Really? The answer was you?

Annie: Yeah.

Kyle: (Whispers to Stan) Sounds to me like someone needs a lesson in modesty.

Annie: I heard that! Anyway, it's your turn.

(Kyle draws a card)

Kyle: What is the best RPG of all time?

Stan: I don't know, there are so many good ones. But I'd say…Chinpokomon Sun & Moon?

Kyle: Nope, that's wrong. Another team gets a chance to steal.

(Tweek looks like he's about to say something, but every time he does, he keeps getting interrupted with wrong answers)

Red: Kingdom Hearts!

Kevin: Final Fantasy XV!

Token: Persona 4!

Bebe: Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door!

Clyde: Fire Emblem: Awakening!

Tweek: GOD DAMN IT! YOUR'RE ALL WRONG! IT'S UNDERTALE! UNDERTALE! UNDERTALE!

Kyle: No need to yell, Tweek, you got it right.

Tweek: I know! I wrote the damn question! Seriously, how could you all not heard of Undertale?

Stan: It's just an RPG game, dude, you've played one you basically played them all.

Tweek: Never say that again! Undertale is the best RPG game ever! It takes the entire genre and turns it on its head with its unique game play, loveable characters, and interesting story, three things that you'll all never understand.

Craig: Tweek, relax! They don't know any better.

Tweek: I'm sorry, I just get really passionate about Undertale. It's a great game and it doesn't cost a lot to play it.

Heidi: Can Cartman and I go next?

Tweek: Sure, here you go (Gives them the cards).

Cartman: (Draws a card) Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 dollars.

(Everyone laughs)

Cartman: Tell me we don't have to go into a dog kennel.

Cody: You all remember the episode. Jail is a dog kennel.

(He points at the kennel)

Heidi: You've got to be kidding me!

Cody: Nope. Oh, and also worth noting that you two must stay in the "jail" for 20 consecutive turns. You can get out but you have to eat cake ingredients. So in case you two feel froggy, here are six eggs, some cups of flower and baking soda, and a box of cake mix. Have fun. (Hands them a tray with the ingredients and they go in the cage)

Cody: Okay, next!

Lola & Jenny: Us!

(Lola draws a card and it reads…)

Lola: Clyde & Millie advance to Level 2.

Clyde: YES!

Millie: Oh baby!

Clyde: (Starts singing a parody of Jay Sean's Down) Babies, we are gonna throw your down! Down! Down! All of your worlds will come crashing down! Down! Down!

Millie: What are you singing?

Clyde: Just this little victory song I made up.

Millie: It's cool.

Clyde: Thanks. I kind of thought of it on the fly.

Cody: Millie and Clyde are guaranteed a spot for Level 2. Let's look at the scoreboard and see how everyone is doing.

 **Scoreboard:**

Alpha: 0

Beef Jerky: 0

Funny Women: 2

Gamma: 1

Mess Maker: 0

Undertale: 2

Bieber: 1

Party: LEVEL 2

Twilight: 0

Millennium Falcon: 0

Cody: Team Party is at Level 2. Teams Funny Women and Undertale scored two cards. Teams Gamma and Bieber scored one card. Everyone else has squat. But don't worry. There's still plenty of time to turn the tides. Team Mess Maker, you're next.

(Nichole draws a card)

Nichole: Artistry all play: One member of each team must carve the clue onto a pumpkin, while the other member guesses what it is.

(Cody hands the teams, sans for Team Party and Team Funny Women, a pumpkin and a carving kit. Those who didn't whittle in the last challenge (Kyle, Butters, Heidi, Bebe, Nichole, Tweek, Annie, Jenny, and Scott (also, Heidi is in front of the kenel that Cartman is in so he can see the pumpkin. Everyone starts to carve their pumpkins. But Team Beef Jerky is having trouble)

Kenny: Hurry up, Butters.

Butters: I'm trying. My parents never let me carve pumpkins.

Kenny: Dude, your parents freaking suck.

Butters: I know!

(Everyone keeps making guesses, but we then cut to Team Alpha. It's a person holding a doughnut and chewing)

Stan: Eating.

Kyle: Eating! We got it! We're finally on the board!

Cody: Excellent. Team Beef Jerky, you're next.

Kenny: (Takes a card) Trivia: Whose mom is a big fat bitch?

Butters: Kyle's mom.

Kenny: Yes!

Kyle: (Annoyed) Cartman did you write that question.

Cartman: What, me? I would never. I respect women now.

Kenny: Actually, I wrote that one. Kyle, your mom really is a fucking bitch.

Kyle: Fuck off, Kenny!

(Everyone laughs)

Cody: Alright, back to Bebe and Wendy.

(Cody hands the two girls the stack of cards, and Bebe takes one)

Bebe: Trivia: What is the greatest meme that ever memed…huh?

Wendy: Memes…memes! (She scratches her head and snaps her fingers, thinking she found an answer) Harambe!

Bebe: Nope, wrong answer. Other teams have a chance to steal.

Craig: You know what meme I think it is?

Bebe: What?

Craig: Deez nuts! HA! Got 'em!

Bebe: Nope, that's not it either.

Kevin: Oh! The Jojo's To Be Continued Roundabout by Yes meme!

Bebe: Correct!

Scott: Awesome sauce! We're next! (He takes a card) Puzzles all play: Re-assembl 10 photograph of Cody.

(He gives the teams, sans for Team Party and Team Funny Women, a baggie that contains pieces to an 8 x 10 photograph of Cody. The teams are having a tough time trying to put it together, saying things like, "There's too many background pieces!" or "Ow, I got a paper cut!" Everyone was having some kind of trouble…all except Team Gamma, who put their pieces with grace. Cody looked Team Gamma's puzzle over and gave it a thumbs up)

Cody: Wendy and Bebe win this puzzle all play!

(Wendy and Bebe high five)

Cody: Team Bieber!

Red: (Takes a card) Trivia: Name one celebrity that Wendy Testaburger cannot stand.

Annie: Kim Kardashian.

Red: Correct.

Wendy: Still stand by the opinion, by the way.

Butters: Come on, Wendy, stop being so jelly. You're just jealous that you're not as bodacious as Kim.

Wendy: Are we really going to go through this again. Now of all times?

Cody: Okay, moving on, Team Undertale.

Craig: (Takes the card) Trivia: What is the worst chore ever?

Tweek: Doing the dishes.

Craig: Damn, that's wrong. Chance to steal.

Butters: If I had to guess, I hate it when my parents tell me to mow the lawn.

Craig: That's correct.

Kenny: Awesome, Butters.

Cody: Next team is Team Alpha.

(Meanwhile, Nichole and Token are lamenting that they haven't scored any points)

Nichole: I think we're done for.

Token: Yeah. We need a miracle to get out of last place now.

Stan: (Reads a card) Token and Nichole advance to Level 2.

(Token and Nichole cheer)

Nichole: We did it!

Token: Level 2! It's a miracle!

Cody: Wow, talk about a lucky break.

Lola: Great, now Jenny and I have to hope that we get a card like they did.

Nichole & Token: (Singing) Oh I'm buzzing because this is how we do it! South central does it like nobody does! This is how we do it! To all our neighbors you got much flavor! This is how we do it! We'll never go whack on an old school track! This is how we do it!

Cody: Moving right along. Since Team Funny Women are still in "jail," it looks like we'll go to Team…

Cartman: Open the cage! We ate the ingredients!

(Cody goes over and looks to see that Cartman and Heidi have in fact eaten the cake ingredients)

Cody: Impressive. How do you two feel?

Heidi: Not very well.

Cartman: Yeah. That sucked. That really sucked.

Cody: Well it seems like you broke out in the nick of time, it's your turn.

Cartman: Great.

(Team Funny Women go over to the table with everyone else, and they grab a card)

Cartman: Okay, Heidi, what's the most important article of clothing a girl shout wear.

Heidi: A shirt?

Cartman: Oh! Baby, that's wrong.

Heidi: Oh no!

Cartman: Don't get down on yourself. You're trying your best. Other teams get a chance to steal.

Bebe: Shoes! Shoes are everything.

Cartman: Correct.

Wendy: Oh my god, Bebe! That's three cards! You know what that means.

Wendy & Bebe: Level 2! We're going to Level 2!

Cody: Congratulations to Wendy, and her wonderful friend, Bebe! You did brilliantly.

Bebe: (Giggles)

Millie: (Teases Bebe by singing) She's a Barbie Girl! In a Barbie World! Life in plastic! It's fantastic! He can brush her hair! Undress her everywhere! Imagination, life is his creation!

Bebe: Please stop.

Cody: Continuing on! We have Team Twilight.

Jenny: (Draws a card) Trivia: Fill in the blank. Back when the girls and boys were feuding, what did Butters call girls? Blank in the grass.

Lola: Bunny rabbits?

Jenny: No, that's wrong.

Butters: I called you all snakes in the grass…Still a little on the fence about that by the way. I'm actually surprised we're all not at each others' throats yet.

Cody: Uh, let's not start another conflict. Just take the card.

Butters: Fair enough. (He takes the third card and says rather calmly…) Hey, what do you know, Kenny, we have three cards.

Kenny: What!

Butters: We have three…. (He realizes the big deal) Three cards! We have three cards! We did it!

Kenny: Team Beef Jerky, bitches, finger licking good!

(They start to sing their victory song)

Butters: (Singing) Oh we live or lives…

Kenny & Butters: (Singing) FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME! And we will rise! This is our time! Don't let the chances of a lifetime pass us by! And we will rise! This is our time! We'll give this everything we've got…FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME!

Cody: Nice work, old sports! Let's look at the scoreboard now.

 **Scoreboard:**

Alpha: 1

Beef Jerky: LEVEL 2

Funny Women: 2

Gamma: LEVEL 2

Mess Maker: LEVEL 2

Undertale: 2

Bieber: 2

Party: LEVEL 2

Twilight: 0

Millennium Falcon: 1

Cody: Teams Beef Jerky, Gamma, Mess Maker, and Party have made it to Level 2. Teams Funny Women, Undertale, and Bieber are one card away from victory. Teams Alpha and Millennium Falcon both have 1 card…and Team Twilight is in dead last.

Lola: (Bitterly) Don't remind us.

Cody: Okay, Team Millennium Falcon. You're next!

Scott: (Draws a card) Trivia: What is the best Disney movie ever?

Kevin: Frozen.

Scott: Correct. We're one card away from Level 2, Kev!

Kevin: I know. (Turns to Teams Party, Gamma, Mess Maker, and Beef Jerky) You all better look out, because we're coming for you.

Red: Our turn, our turn! (She draws a card) Artistry all play: The artist from your team must paint the clue on his/her teammates face. The teammate must guess the clue based solely on feel.

Cody: I have face paint! (He gives the six teams some face paint. The painters of each team include, Kyle, Red, Heidi, Kevin, Jenny, and Craig. They start to paint on their teammates' faces)

(Team Bieber)

Annie: (Laughing and giggling as Red is trying to paint the clue)

Red: Annie, hold still! You're going to mess it up!

Annie: I'm sorry, that brush just really tickles. (She laughs so hard she falls off her chair) I am okay!

(Team Twilight)

Lola: The planets, an airplane, a jack in the box!

Jenny: Jack in the box?! Lola, I'm going to put you in a box if you don't start getting these answers correct.

(Team Millennium Falcon)

Scott: You'd better not be painting a dick on my face, dude.

Kevin: I would never do something like that at a time like this. We're so close to Level 2, I can almost taste it!

Scott: Are you sure you're not painting a dick on my face? Because it feels like you are at this very moment!

Kevin: I am not, damn it!

(Team Funny Women)

Cartman: You have such a good brush stroke, Heidi.

Heidi: Thanks, sweetie. But now is not the time for compliments. It's time we get our heads in the game

Cartman: Right! Eyes on the prize. (Inhales and makes a guess) A buttermilk biscuit.

Heidi: Not even close.

(Team Undertale)

Tweek: We have to get one more card! The pressure is getting to me! I can't take it!

Craig: Focus, Tweek. We can do this! I just need you to focus.

Tweek: Right, I can do this. I'm going to start rattling off guesses.

Craig: Go for it!

Tweek: Is it a jackal! A jackal! Jackal!

Craig: Don't do this again!

Tweek: I'm having a panic attack, Craig! I'm sorry!

(Team Alpha)

Kyle: (Paints a basketball net, a soccer ball, a football, a hockey stick, a golf club)

Stan: Uh, is it… Is it sports!

Kyle: Yes! We got it! We got our second card! Sports!

Scott: Sports?

Kevin: Yes, like I said, I wasn't painting a dick on you. I was painting a soccer player kicking a soccer ball into the goal net.

Jenny: No fair! They were copying what I was doing! I was painting basketballs and stuff like that.

Cody: Sorry, but copying doesn't matter. What matters is that Stan got the correct answer first, so he scores Team Alpha their second card.

Stan & Kyle: Yeah! (They high five)

Cody: (Hands the six teams some wet towels so they can wipe paint from their hands and faces) Okay, the next team is Team Undertale)

Craig: (Draws another card) Another puzzle: Repair this PS4. Are you fucking serious?

(Cody takes out a broken PS4)

Cody: I found this in Gamestop's dumpster while looking for materials for the game. I figured I could use this. Also, you may need these (Takes out some wires, diodes, circuit boards, etc.)

Craig: Right. Let's do this thing.

(Team Undertale starts to repair the PS4. They made random guesses when it came to the circuitry, but they knew that if they got shocked, it was a bad thing. They placed the circuit boards and diodes in whatever seemed like the most logical place. They eventually got the PS4 in one piece)

Cody: Looks good. Let's see if it works.

(Cody hooks the repaired PS4 up to his T.V, and presses the power button. Everyone heard the console make a "beep" noise. There was a brief moment of silence and anticipation when the Playstation logo faded onto the screen, showing that it worked)

Tweek: Yes! Yes!

Craig: We got our third card!

Cody: Well it appears you have, old sports. Congratulations.

(Tweek and Craig then begin to sing their victory song)

Tweek & Craig: Slam! Duh duh duh! Duh duh duh! Let the boys be boys! Slam! Duh duh duh! Duh duh duh! Make noise b-boys!

Cody: There are only three available spaces left for Level 2. Don't give up now. Team Funny Women, you're next!

Heidi: Trivia: What is the worst and most annoying children's program on television?

Cartman: Barney and Friends.

Heidi: Gah! That's wrong. Other teams get the chance to steal.

Kevin: Is it Caillou?

Heidi: Nope.

Kyle: Wait, I think I know. It's the Teletubbies!

Heidi: That's right.

Cody: Congratulations for Team Alpha. You're going to Level 2.

Stan: Alright, we did it dude!

Kyle: Kickass!

Cody: Team Twilight, you're up next.

Lola: We have to get this one. We just have to.

Jenny: (Draws a trivia card) What card game does Kenny consider to be one of the best of all time?

Lola: Uh, uh! Yu-Gi-Oh!?

Jenny: Damn it! Okay, chance to steal.

Annie: Over here, we know! It's Magic the Gathering!

Red: Definitely Magic the Gathering!

Jenny: (Sigh) That's right.

Cody: Team Bieber is on to Level 2! One last slot, and only one of you three can move on.

Lola: It's not over for us yet! We can still pull it off!

Kevin: We have to win! I'll be damned if we lose by just one stinking card.

Heidi: (Sigh) It's over.

Cartman: Don't give up so easily, babe! We still have one last chance. We can do this!

Heidi: I don't know. I just don't know.

Cody: Okay, Team Millennium Falcon, you're next. Draw the next card.

Kevin: This is it, Scotty! I can feel it! This is our winning card!

Scott: Draw it, man! Let's go!

Kevin: RAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (Pulls the card out in an aggressive and badass fashion, reads it…and deflates with a look of despair on his face)

Scott: What's wrong, Kev?

Kevin: The card reads….Cartman and Heidi skip to Level 2.

Scott: What!?

Cartman and Heidi: What?!

Lola and Jenny: What!?

Butters: Oh hamburgers!

Cody: And there we have it! The 8 teams that will advance to level 2: Team Alpha, Team Gamma, Team Bieber, Team Mess Maker, Team Party, Team Funny Women, Team Undertale, and Team Beef Jerky! Sorry, Teams Twilight and Millennium Falcon. Better luck next time.

(Jenny and Lola start to bawl)

Jenny: WAAAAAAAHH! WAAAAAAAH!

Lola: (Snivel) Not one crummy card!

(Scott watches on as the two girls continue to cry)

Scott: It's a good thing that we can handle loses better than those two, huh Kev? (No response) Kev?

(Kevin is on the floor throwing a tantrum)

Kevin: (Sobs) NOOOOOOO! We only needed one more card! One…fucking….caaaaaaaaard! Waaaaahh!

(We then cut to Team Twilight and Team Millennium Falcon's flags getting taken down, and their game pieces getting removed from the board so they can be burned and smashed later. As for the other teams, they take their game pieces and place them on the Level 2 space. Injuries like Clyde's cuts or Annie's fall are all patched up. We then get to the Pre-Round I.V Drip for Level 2. Four Seasons by Vivaldi is playing again in the background. Cody is hooking the with wine up to the 16 contestants as the losers from last round, Kevin, Scott, Jenny, and Lola, watch)

Kevin: I still can't believe we lost.

Jenny: I can't believe we didn't get a single card.

Scott: No use crying over spilt milk, guys. What's done is done.

Lola: Scott?

Scott: Yeah?

Lola: Shut up.

(Cody has finished hooking up the last I.V., and the last one was Bebe)

Cody: There we are, I saved the best and most beautiful contestant for last.

Bebe: (Giggles)

Craig: Get a room, lovebirds.

(The other contestants giggle amongst themselves)

Cody: Okay, now we enter Level 2: Physical Challenge, Pain, and Endurance. 8 teams will enter, but only 6 will advance. It's at this point in the game, where swearing isn't allowed. If you swear, then the team must drink for five seconds. And remember, _I_ count the five seconds. So I decide how long or short your drinking will be. All I can say is that if you swear, just pray that you get lucky and I feel like letting you off easy.

Token: Okay.

Cody: Now, the "jail" will still be in the game until this level is over. Also, I forgot to mention while explaining the game before. You still need three cards to advance to the next level. Much like last round, however, you or another team can sill draw a card that allows you to skip to the next level.

Red: It doesn't sound too different from Level 1.

Cody: Nope, not really. The challenges are just different. Well, if there are no further questions or comments, I think we can get this round started. (Grabs his bugle) When I blow my bugle, squeeze your I.V bags and let the wine flow into you.

Stan: Let's do this!

Cody: Okay. On your marks, get set… (Blows his bugle and everyone squeezes their bags, letting the alcohol into their circulatory systems)

Annie: (Feels the alcohol hitting her) Mmmmmmm…

Cartman: Oh I feel it.

Wendy: It hurts.

Craig: Oooooooohhhhhhhh

(After a few seconds, the contestant let go of their bags, Cody detaches them from the , and Level 2 begins)

 **Ranking:**

 **IN:**

1st: Team Party (Clyde and Millie)

2nd: Team Mess Maker (Token and Nichole)

3rd: Team Gamma (Bebe and Wendy)

4th: Team Beef Jerky (Butters and Kenny)

5th: Team Undertale (Craig and Tweek)

6th: Team Alpha (Stan and Kyle)

7th: Team Bieber (Red and Annie)

8th: Team Funny Women (Cartman and Heidi)

 **OUT:**

9th: Team Millennium Falcon (Kevin and Scott)

10th: Team Twilight (Lola and Jenny)


End file.
